Adventures of the Fellowship of the University of Adventuring School of Technology College

Big Damn Heroes

Or, 'In this universe, every NPC is a pimp'


Our adventurers feel a strange sensation come over them as the rift closes, and it is as though they are more powerful and capable heroes. The knowledge gained from this battle has honed their senses and reflexes to a degree previously unattainable. Davan climbs up the grisly chains and throws a rope down. After climbing out of the pit, the party discovers a Eladrin Druid chained up behind the altar. Smashing her manacles with his warhammer, Davan frees her. The group discover her name is Meriele. Since she’s wearing a slave leia metal bikini, Dire passes her some hide armor from one of the slain berserkers. After conversing with her, she reveals that she was captured by a band of hobgoblins known as the ‘Blood Reavers’, slavers. They sold her to Kalarel. Blandington seems pretty confident that these Blood Reavers fail the bad test, so he wants to go destroy them. Meriele decides to join the group. Unfortunately, the PCs have no idea where their headquarters is. They decide to head back to Winterhaven to ask around and to check on the townspeople. The last time they were away this long the place was besieged by undead after all.

As they enter the small village, there is an excitement in the air. The townspeople seem to be preparing a festival of some kind, and the villagers have never been this happy. The oppressive presence of Shadowfell Keep has lifted and everyone can feel it. As they enter, a goblin carrying several chunks of scrap metal trots up to them. It’s Splug, the goblin they freed from prison in Shadowfell Keep. He thanks the adventurers and lets them know that the Blood Reaver caravans always seem to come from the East. He has had to endure some prejudice, but now the town accepts him and he works for the blacksmith. The party marches towards town hall, and Lord Padraig walks out to meet them. He offers them the key to the city and some gp. Then he walks up to the lectern and starts the festival with a grand speech about our brave heroes. Davan and Zanvard immediately start drinking.
Valthrun the Prescient finds the group and thanks them for giving him the inspiration for a new kind of glue made from the failed transmutation of their spears. (See: Alchemy is overrated) He asks for details about Shadowfell Keep and questions the party’s intentions going forward. Blandington explains his burning desire to smite the evil Blood Reavers and his need to get revenge for the injustice visited upon the lovely Meriele, but that the headquarters of the slavers is a mystery. Valthrun nods and says that he knows they are based in the Thunderspire mountain range to the east. It is known that the places known as the Labyrinth and the 7 Pillared Hall are located in the Thunderspires. Davan pays for a round of drinks for everyone, and Kiera, Sylvanna, and Meriele develop some strange tensions. Meriele asks for her own room in the Wrafton inn and bars the door. The PCs settle down for a well deserved night in an actual bed.

In the morning, the party sets out on the Kingsroad for Thunderspire. As Winterhaven fades from sight, Kiera spots a band of hobgoblins attempting to ambush the group. The lead goblin, seeing that he’d been spotted, calls “Surrender now to the Blood Reavers, and you shall be sold as slaves. Believe me, the alternatives are not preferable.”

Blandington gets all excited at the chance to kill some Blood Reavers, and Dire tries to intimidate them into becoming slaves for the party. One of the soldiers loses his resolve, but the leader keeps his troops in line.

Kiera moves into the over of a copse of trees and looses a bolt at the frightened hobgoblin soldier. The ranged troop beside him pierces her armor with a lance, and Blandington races across the open ground to smash them with Aecris. (You call your sword ‘Aching Tits’? says the disembodied voice of the fallen rogue Moon-Moon)

Meriele unleashes a burst of thunder magic, trapping two soldiers in a lightning fence. Zanvard is excited to try out a new move he thought up, and marches up to a hobgoblin and attacks with Solenor’s Hammer. Davan joins him, and the Hobgoblin Warcaster hits Zanvard with a lightning spear. Dire 1v1’s a soldier. Kiera moves back onto the road and uses Thundertusk Boar Strike to push one of the soldiers out of the magical barrier, causing thunder damage.

Blandington continues to take on two soldiers at once, like the awesome tank he is. Zanvard is feeling a little pressure from being extremely flanked, but refuses to stand down. Davan performs some amazing hammerblows and kills a soldier, crashing into the warcaster. Kiera snipes the two soldiers Blandington is facing with Twin Strike, and Dire backs off from the soldier in front of him. Meriele unleashes Grasping Tide on the warcaster and a soldier. Kiera Twin Strikes the warcaster and it goes down. (Wilhelm Scream) Dire finishes off his target while Davan and Zanvard charge the last soldier. They both get in a few hits and Kiera finishes it off.

Wiping blood from his blade, Blandington looks at Meriele and says “Welcome to the party.”

What will our heroes find in the Thunderspire mountain range? Will they be able to eliminate the stain of slavery on this land? Will Meriele be able to visit revenge upon her former captors? Find out next week, on DragonCast! THUN-THUN-THUN!!!



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.